Even Happier: Letter to my daughter: on being yourself

Even Happier: Letter to my daughter: on being yourself

"

Dear Sally,
You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people.

You can be the finest apple in the world – ripe, juicy, sweet, and succulent – and offer yourself to all,
but there will be people who do not like apples.

If you are the world’s finest apple, and someone you love does not like apples, you still have the choice of becoming a banana, but be warned: if you choose to become a banana, you will be a second rate banana.

You must also realize that if you choose to be a second rate banana, there will be people who do not like bananas, so you can spend your life trying to be the best banana – which is impossible if you are an apple –
or you can seek again to be the finest apple.

Hugs, Daddy.

Author unknown, adapted from Adrienne Lee’s psychotherapy seminar"

This letter is great, I think everyone should write a similar letter to their children. Too often self esteem issues do begin as children trying so hard to fit in or to become a "Banana" as the author puts it. I think one of the hardest lessons we learn is that even if we practice everyday to become something we are not, we will never succeed, ever. We will always be transparent to everyone around us, and never achieve the respect we deserve. At 27, being true to myself is a lesson I really have just recently grasped, and I have to admit, once I accepted myself for who I was and worked with what I had, instead of against it, life changed remarkably. My critical parent, that evil jerk inside your head that constantly tells you just how bad you suck, went on a vacation, and left a less aggressive, even soothing replacement in its wake.
The good news? No one can be you as good as you can do it, and being you isn't so bad after all. I challenge everyone to right a list of things you love about yourself, and focus on that. I once read the key to becoming exceptional is not to develop new skills but to strengthen what you are already great at, to become exceptional. I'm not saying that you shouldn't discover new skills you love and are good at, but work with the things you enjoy and are already confident in, it will make life much more satisfying.
You will never be happy trying to be something you are not, ever. You sell yourself short every time, everyday life becomes toxic to your self esteem.